Funeral Practices

Last week, the husband of a BMC nurse died. It was actually the nurse, who helped me find a seamstress to sew my dress. I know I have only been here a few weeks, but this nurse had been very kind and generous to me, so I did feel the sorrow of her loss. Anyways it has given me access to some funeral practices here. I still don't fully understand the entire process.

As soon as possible there is a wake, similar to the United States, except held at the deceased household, then comes the burial. All of this can happen in a matter of days, but the actual funeral depends on the finances of the family and time of year. Funerals are held during this the dry season. During the rainy season, everyone is working on their farms, and do not have time to go to a funeral. Then if the family does not have the finances for the funeral, it can be put off for years.

I went with the missionaries to visit Joyce, the nurse, today. She was at her family's compound. As a new widow, she is put in a hut (generously it was probably 5 by 10), and she cannot leave for the next week. The only times she can leave would be to use the toilet, but she must be accompanied by another widow. Next weekend, there will be a ceremony with drums and dancing, during which Joyce will have her head shaved (she has long beautiful braids right now). I believe at that time, her dress will change from black to white. The head shaving can only be performed if the wife has been faithful to the husband during the marriage. Her hair will then be buried next to her husband. I believe they are holding the funeral next weekend too, which is an event that will last a few days. At some point the funeral turns into a large celebration, but I'm not exactly sure when that is.

Then in a year there is another ceremony that is performed.

As I said, funerals all happen in the dry season, so it also happens that one of our cooks, Caleb, was also holding a funeral at his house all week. For the past few nights, we have gone to sleep to the sounds of drumming and celebratory music, all coming from his compound. He invited me to attend, but unfortunately I was on call. His tribe is the one with the cowies (what I refer to as the African answer to the thigh master), so he's been shaking his cowies alot over the last week.